Bit of history, my husband and I have been married for seven years, we have four daughters between us-fifteen and eleven from MY previous marriage and ten from HIS previous marriage. We have a two year old together. My oldest daughter, has lived with her dad and step-mom and their three kids in Oklahoma and my husband’s daughter lives in Kansas with her mom and step-dad.

My husband and I have gone ‘belly up’ in Kansas and we’ve been planning to move to Colorado over the summer to ‘start anew’. We’ve always vacationed there, love the outside activities available and were really excited about the new opportunities for us there!

I went to Oklahoma w/my younger daughters to visit my older daughter for mother’s day last weekend and my ex-husband came out to ask me if instead of moving to Colorado, would I consider staying in Oklahoma to be the nanny for their three children along with my two year old. They would give me the option of a nice rental house they have or a regular salary. (My degree is in Family Relations and Child Development, so this kinda thing is right up my alley) Anyway, this sounded like a WONDERFUL idea for me, because I miss being around my oldest daughter and know that my second daughter misses time with her older sister and dad’s family too. I love the house they’re offering us, the neighborhood is great, AND I love the idea of having an alternative to working out of the home while my two year old goes to daycare everyday.

The problem arises with my husband. He HATES..and has ALWAYS hated the idea of living in Oklahoma. That is where I lived when we met and married and he NEVER wanted to move there, so I’ve spent the last seven years in Kansas. Now he says that I’m taking away the best opportunity we’ll ever have to break away and make this move-that he’s been DREAMING about his whole life.

I’m so torn about what to do, everyone that I could talk to about this has a motive in one way or another, so I can’t really depend on their input. I would LOVE to go to Colorado too, we were all set and looking for jobs and housing whem my ex asked me to work for them. But I just can’t help feeling like staying in Oklahoma is the right choice for my kids-closer to my ex for my older daughters and closer to my family (two hours away) as well. I really made some terrible, awful financial choices that have ruined us in the last two years of our marriage so I don’t feel at all like I have the right to ask him to do this for me, but I really feel like it’s the right choice for our FAMILY. He’s said he would agree to Norman and just be miserable forever, but this whole thing makes me feel AWFUL.

Soooo, what the heck do you think? What’s your vote? Why?


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